The Lady of Quality
The shocking news of Ruth Looper’s death has been widely received with both consternation and deep sorrow. When so vibrant a personality succumbs too soon, that person’s family and friends are initially stunned into a state of disbelief. Soon enough reality sets in, and the incalculable sense of loss sinks in. Hundreds of tributes have justifiably appeared. Dr. Ruth Looper was no ordinary woman. She was special, and everyone who ever shared time with her could instantly recognize her uniqueness, her sui generis.
When Ruth applied for a faculty position at Young Harris College back in 1996, I was chair of the Humanities Division. In that capacity, I was privileged to share in the decision to approve her employment. In retrospect, granting her that position in the English department became one of the wisest moves ever made by the College’s administration.
Ruth was liked and loved by everyone who ever crossed her path: family members, students, colleagues, close friends, mere acquaintances, everyone. To her you were a comrade, a term not widely used but appropriate nonetheless. In its generic form it simply refers to “a companion who shares one’s activities or is a fellow member of an organization.” Indeed, she was a facilitator par excellence of camaraderie, defined in the dictionary as “mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together.” Whenever Ruth appeared among her associates, camaraderie prevailed.
Super intelligent, yet notably modest, she met her students at a caring and non-intimidating level. No one was beyond the reach of her exuberant spirit. Her smile, her laughter, her positive demeanor were contagious and exhilarating. She assigned pet names to friends. Almost from the beginning I became Johnny Baby, abbreviated as JB, and I began to call her Ruthie. Our relationship was fun but far from frivolous.
She was the one member of YHC’s English faculty who could be counted on to introduce her students to Byron Herbert Reece. On a number of occasions she brought them to the BHR Farm and Heritage Center to witness firsthand the life and legacy of Georgia’s Appalachian Poet/Novelist. Those of us in the Reece Society will forever be indebted to her for her active, energetic participation as a member of the Society’s board. Just this past May, she delivered a provocative and informative keynote address at our annual meeting. She was always an inspiring presence at Society events.
As many now know, in late July I lost my 61 year old son Stephen to a sudden cardiac event of some kind. It came as a crushing blow, totally unexpected and altogether shocking. Right away I received numerous messages of sympathy and support, both spoken and written. On August 5th, in an email with the subject of “Vibes, prayers, hugs, and love,” Ruth conveyed the following message:
“Dear JB,
I hope that you know that you are surrounded by love and heartfelt prayer during this time of grief. I’m sharing one of my mum’s favorite passages about the nature of death. May it help you as it helped her and me:
[Death is…] to lose the earth you know for greater knowing; to lose the life you have, for greater life; to leave the friends you loved, for greater loving; to find a land more kind than home, more large than earth.” – Thomas Wolfe, You Can’t Go Home Again.
Hugs and love,
Ruthie”
On August 16th, in a passing eerily similar to my son’s, Ruth lost so much, only to gain so very much more—greater knowing, greater life, greater loving, to find a land more kind than home, more large than earth. This was her faith, and this was her reward.
As a final tribute to Ruth, who loved much and was loved much in return, I cite this brief poem of Byron Herbert Reece, so descriptive of this lovely, adorable lady:
THE LADY OF QUALITY
The lady of quality
Who lived in the lane
Was beautiful in pleasure
And beautiful in pain.
She carried her beauty
Through all the years,
Beautiful in laughter
And beautiful in tears.
She carried her beauty
Past being and breath,
Beautiful she was in life
And beautiful in death.
Reece must have had someone like Ruth in mind when he penned those words. Thanks for the memories, dear Ruth, our genuine lady of quality!
Submitted by John Kay
Used at her memorial service 9/30/2024
